HAPPY BIRTHDAY

This big guy is now 12, can you believe it?

BEFORE AND AFTER

Watch out girls, Andy got a haircut!!!

SON AND FUN

He’s definitely changing. More than physically. After spending two weeks with him, I’m convinced that a teenager has replaced the boy in him. For me, it’s a little sad knowing how fast he’s grown up and that he’s past the boy stage. Physically he continues to grow, but his mind is working differently know. Last year, I did a top 10 of my observations. As I look back at them, I think all but six and seven are true. He got one B on his report card and he did cry this time. Here’s my top 10 observations for this year:

1 He’s definitely more opinionated. I’m used to making all the decisions on what we will do and eat, etc. Not anymore.
2 He’s into hip hop. I wish I could relate. I’m just grateful he’s into music.
3 Serious father-son conversations still upset him. There’s a fine line there that I’ve yet to figure out.
4 He’s into his two new cats. I think they are making him a happier kid.
5 We’ve been doing the water park resort for four years now. For the first time, I wonder if he’s gonna be too old for that next year?
6 He’s really into his hair and his clothes. Part of that teenage thing I was referring to.
7 Chocolate chip cookie dough is his favorite ice cream flavor unless we go to Cold Stone where Cake Batter takes over the #1 flavor. Ewww.
8 I love taking him to movies and hearing him laugh.
9 He’s already talking to me about what kind of car would be nice to drive.
10 He still likes to wrestle. But his kicks and chops and jumps are doing more damage to me these days. It’s not long before he kicks my a**

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DAUGHTERS

So fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too

Lyrics by John Mayer

There’s one thing I can safely say that I regret not having in my life. A daughter. Timing is everything and for a myriad of reasons that make for good writing, I never had another child after Andy. Don’t get me wrong, I know I’m fortunate as hell to have the best kid in America (hey, I’m his dad; am I gonna say anything to the contrary?). But I think Andy’s life and my own would have been enriched with the presence of a sister/daughter. Throughout his life, he’s always enjoyed girls. It makes me wonder what kind of big brother he would have been to his little sister. And it makes me wonder what kind of father I would have been to my daughter. Let’s face it; boys for guys are easy. I don’t know, but I think having a daughter would have been more challenging for me.

I had all this spinning around in my mind yesterday during Andy’s all-day birthday party. He invited two friends to spend the day with us at the resort. He invited his next-door neighbors. A sister pair who became instant friends with him since day one. And so my friends, I got to play fantasy world. I had three kids for the day. One boy and two girls. The experience was awesome. I got to play, supervise, and observe. The kids were great. It was as if they could have been brother/sister although I suspect if they had, there would have been at least some fighting involved. Andy would have been a great big brother, I’m convinced. The girls were sweet and so well-behaved. They played like boys only a bit softer, I think. Less competitive perhaps. Their eating habits were similar, and they were sure attentive to what they wore and accessorizing. Yeah, it would have been interesting having a daughter. I’m glad I got to experience what it may have been like, if only for a day.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANDY

11 going on 21.

EMPTY

Is there any worse feeling really? It’s that pit in your stomach feeling caused by something missing. Recent relationship break-ups leave you that way, don’t they? If you’re sports oriented, maybe your team misses that last second shot or field goal and you’re left feeling “that” way. For me, ‘empty’ hits me a minimum of twice per year, and the tank is on “E” now.

The car is empty; there’s no one in the passenger seat working the radio controls like a DJ. I come home; the apartment is empty. No infectious smile to see, no indoor basketball games going on. No one to buy groceries for or to cook for. No one to buy shoes and socks for. No homework to help with. No one fast asleep in my bed surrounded by treasured stuffed animals.

It’s quiet again. There’s no one watching sports on TV with me. No one asking me pointed questions. No one to share life’s lessons and experiences. No game companion, no restaurant buddy. It’s all rather empty again. Where does the time go? Each time I see him, there’s less of that little boy I used to know and more of the young man who’s coming into his own. He’s passionate, sentimental, competitive, and brilliant. I miss him already…