THE SEVEN HABITS (PLUS ONE) OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE

Hey, don’t blame me. Blame my crazed Yankee fan Ari for this one. The rules are such. Each player lists 8 facts/habits about themselves. The rules of the game are posted at the beginning before those facts/habits are listed. At the end of the post, the player then tags 8 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

Uno. I fear public bathrooms and rarely use them. If I’m forced to, then I’m totally hands-off in there and carry around paper towels so I don’t have to touch anything. Gross.

Dos. My shoe size has grown from an 8 ½ to a 10 ½ in the past three years. Now if I can only get certain other things to grow…

Tres. I’m probably in the worst shape of my life. I hate myself for it. I need to lose 15 pounds and 2 waist sizes.

Cuatro. One of my favorite lines from a song comes from James Taylor’s Fire and Rain, “There’s just a few things comin’ my way this time around.” I keep waiting for this to come true.

Cinco. Those of you who don’t live down here in Miami may find it hard to believe that Caucasians are truly a minority. I went to a restaurant last night near where I grew up and I’d say the place was 98% Latin. My Spanish is rusty and I need to improve.

Seis. I haven’t had a really good kiss in almost nine months. Come to think of it, I haven’t had a kiss period in nine months.

Siete. I just wrote the ending to my book that I’ve been writing for 11 years now. Some of my best writing evolves during plane rides. At least I have American to thank for that.

Ocho. Ready for the big finish?? My random hang-ups off the top of my head. Does super glue stick to anything else besides your fingers? It never seems to hold anything together for me. What do you do when your cashier coughs in her hand and then proceeds to scan all of your items with that same hand? I short-circuit when that happens. Do you ever watch those guys back ‘there’ make sushi? Don’t. It may ruin your dinner. And why do some of those guys wear hats and some don’t? I want the hat dudes making mine, thank you. The less hair in my sushi, the better; don’t you agree? Speaking of restaurants, the side pour is an underrated skill. Don’t’cha hate it when they pour your water or tea with a straight pour and you get no ice? Skilled servers utilize the side pour where you get both liquid and ice. Oh, and let’s practice safe sips everyone. Use the straw. Servers these days seem to forget the below the rim delivery rule. No hands on the rim of your glass. So be alert; safe sips; use a straw. Restaurant terminology kills me. Marketing at its finest. How bout this one. ‘Fire-grilled.’ Isn’t that stating the obvious? ‘Finished with.’ Do I care? I realize the dish has to be finished with SOMETHING. ‘To perfection.’ Rarely is anything perfect, ya know? How about ‘x-crusted?’ Herb-crusted, potato-crusted, panko-crusted. Isn’t that just a fancy way of saying breaded? ‘Pan-seared.’ You mean fried? Hey I can bitch. I’m a former restaurant owner. And one more thing, beware the soup. It’s yesterday’s leftovers.

OK. 4 volunteers to play this game? I nominate:

1 Jess cuz she’s always bored
2 Melissa cuz she just re-entered the blogosphere
3 Aly cuz she’s never at a loss for words
4 Cat cuz she’s my ‘neighbor’

TESTING 1, 2, 3

I’m convinced life is a big test, or a series of tests, or maybe even a daily test. Now, I’m not a religious person, but I think whoever is up there presents us a daily quiz or test. The test is never ever easy, but the good news is that we get to grade our own papers. And you know me; I’m a very critical self-grader. Unlike my umm, 20 years of school, I’ve often gotten an F. But unless you’re part of that whole Apollo 13 experience where failure was not an option, failure is not necessarily a bad thing. I used to fear failure, but now I look at it as a risk I’m willing to take in life which, I think, broadens my horizons substantially.

But here’s where it gets tricky. I guess you have to admire the "if at first you don’t succeed, try try again,” mentality, but the thing is, when we try try again, pass/fail becomes less of an importance. What’s important is that even if we fail, and fail again, we learn from our previous mistakes. And that’s where these daily tests come into play. Ya dig?

Maybe it’s appropriate that on my would-have-been 14th wedding anniversary, I got a pop quiz. Remember those things? “Put your books away and take out a #2 pencil.” My little pop quiz came up on TV. It’s one I’ve had plenty of practice with, but the results for the past couple of years have been a crapshoot. It’s a state-of-mind quiz. Am I progressing or regressing? Chances are, if I’ve repeated the same mistakes over again, then I’m most likely regressing. I know, I know. What’s the quiz, and how did I do?

Well like I said, it’s basically a quiz on my emotional state. Two-years ago, I was getting F, F, Fs. My emotions were a wreck. For many reasons. When grading my quizzes, I didn’t take off points for going through all that leaving home, leaving my son, my dogs, driving across the country for a new, unstable job, yada yada yada. Back then, what challenged and truly failed my emotions was this whole dating thing. The harder I tried, the more effort I put forth, seemingly, the greater the disappointment. It made me a mental mess. The result was that when I watched TV or listened to the radio, I’d cry way more than I care to admit. I remember crying while watching the finale of “Friends,” even while watching “How to Lose a Guy in 10 days,” some silly Vin Diesel movie for which I can’t even remember the name of, and countless other embarrassing moments.

Well, while I was flipping channels, one of my crying movies came on and the quiz began. I don’t know why this movie always had hit me so hard, but for some reason ”Cast Away” was a guaranteed cry. Oh man, when Tom Hanks and Helen Hunt shared those kisses in the pouring rain after he returned from the dead…whew! I couldn’t shut off the faucet. Maybe that’s understandable; I don’t know. But when Hanks couldn’t rescue his volleyball best buddy Wilson? Yeah, the tears would come rolling down my face. A poignant moment in the movie sure, but I don’t know if it’s cry-worthy. And so I watched. And waited. First came Wilson. And as he (it?) drifted away and left Hanks sobbing on his storm-ravaged makeshift raft, I felt the sadness. I felt it hard in the back of my throat and in the pit of my stomach. I was genuinely saddened but no tears this time. And came the kissing in the rain scene. Again, the same feelings hit me hard in my throat and stomach. Close, but no tears.

It was a good test. Do I get an A? Perhaps. Progress has been made in the past couple of years. A kinder, gentler, softer Plantation that perhaps is more in tune to his emotions. And I give myself credit for taking time out for myself. Splendid Isolation was much-needed. No repeated dating mistakes that tend to break me down disappointment after disappointment. It’s been seven months now. I definitely know isolation isn’t the answer but metaphorically a vacation of sorts. Maybe, just maybe, it’s the right time for me to get off the island now. WILSON!!!