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Chasing The American Dream

January 27, 2005

SILENT ASSASSIN or THE CHAPFU SNAFU

Shhh. Everybody be quiet. Freeze. Don’t move! I’m whispering. He’s here. I can feel it. He’s in the blog, amongst our presence. He’s reading my posts, your comments. He’s watching our interactions. He’s judging me, forming opinions of me. He’s making fun of me. Making fun of you. He’s clever, intelligent, highly educated, I’m guessing. He doesn’t understand why I’m here, why you comment? Why this ridiculous blog exists? Why aren’t any of us talking about Bukowski’s brilliance? Why are we wasting our time talking about silly shit like girls, dates, relationships, divorce, etc.? WTF is all this dear diary shit? Such drivel. Pure tripe. Shhh. If we’re real quiet and don’t comment or post, maybe he’ll go back home to his blog. I…I think he’s gone. Lemme check. Nope, no comments. He never leaves any comments. Yeah, he’s gone. OK. Coast is clear, you can all come out now…

I’ve been attacked pretty good here on my home turf. I don’t mind it, really. I’ve said all along that these anon bashers have their opinions as do the rest of us. There is no right or wrong, really. It’s all good discussion. It’s all fair, IMHO. All I ask is that you get in my face and tell me. Don’t be a chicken shit MFer with no balls and go make your comments on your own site? How am I supposed to have a logical discussion about it if I don’t know about it?

So I’m in this pissy mood for many reasons. Breakups, seconds, death moves, divorce, dishonesty, guilt complex, I could go on forever. I’ve been holding onto this post and decided I’m angry enough now to post it. I got a tip that someone didn’t exactly understand this blog’s purpose and said so on his blog. It’s interesting why someone would even ask what the purpose is? The purpose lies (or is it lays?) solely with each of us blogger writer hosts, no? We each have our own reasons for writing. Why would someone question why I write what I write? It’s like asking me, “why do you like chocolate?” Uhh, I don’t really know why just as I don’t know why I write what I write? I write about my life. It’s what I know best and occasionally, it is interesting. I’m no literary or political expert so I don’t write about that. THAT is not the purpose here. Hey, if you like to write about politics, or your life, or Ashley Simpson go for it! It’s your writing; it’s your own purpose. Why would I question why you write? Hey, if I don’t like it, I’ll leave.

Anyway, I went to his blog and checked it out. Twas true. Boy was I the fool. A few weeks ago, I made a sincere comment to him regarding a post not even knowing that the very post I was commenting on was about me. To find the post, go to the above 'blog' link to January 5th, Crisis of Faith. Read the post and then click on the title, Crisis of Faith. I have that Daffy Duck with the donkey ears feeling once again. I’m not here to badmouth him behind his back. He’s here and he’ll read it. Unlike me who had no idea his blog even existed. I already had my say about this on his blog. His comments to me?


“I think it’s amazing that you’re making this big a deal out of this. Remember, I’m a stranger. I read some propaganda you put up on the internet and the things you said were distasteful to me. I thought you sounded weak and conniving. That’s my opinion. I did link to your site to illustrate the point I was making. The whole “I’ve been had” routine is a little lame because betrayal doesn’t pertain to strangers. My reference to you was a funny (to me) afterthought and I did not intend to bring your world crashing down all around you.

Am I making too big a deal outta this? Yes. Is my world crashing down all around me? No. As I said, I'm just a little steamed right now so time to let some of it go. I do not plan on going back there to his blog. Note, I did go back there to get the link. Interestingly, he's written a post on a date he's had. Pretty mushy. Imagine that? But good for him. Hope it works out better than most of mine. And hey, write what you wanna write, I don’t give a shit.

People out there, if ya have something to say, jus’ say it to my face, will ya? Lemme have it. I always say, “be careful what you wish for,” so I’m totally expecting an onslaught.



13 Comments:

  • hey plantation. i told you i was a reader so here i am, out from the shadows, and exposing my evil self to the light. like i also said in my reply to your comment last week, i think you are completely entitled to your rebuttal. i hope it ends here though. that post is getting old and not too many people are going to go back that far unless you keep reminding them.

    anyway, if i questioned WHY you wrote, i don't remember. i only remember questioning your motives. but, right here, and right now, and in the interest of all that is fair and right, i would like to bury the hatchet. feel free to go back to my site and read what you want. i never went into a lot of detail about why i questioned you. you've made a lot of assumptions here. you'll find i write pretty much about anything and some of it even veers into relationships. from this point forward i will give you the benefit of the doubt. your outrage has convinced me that maybe the book isn't indicative of its cover.

    have a good day, man.

    By Blogger ChapFu, at 7:49 AM, January 27, 2005  

  • Bukowski? Did I hear Bukowski being mentioned? In all fairness, Buk would've slammed us all--with our lamenting, self-pitying posts. He'd say we're all soft, a bunch of sensitive fucks who get dragged by the bollocks by every woman who comes into our lives. He'd say we're melodramatic, we analyze too much, we don't know how to read people well--especially women--and we try too hard. He'd say we have no courage, posting this kind of trite, emotional shite on our blogs. He'd say we're too comfortable--financially, socially, even emotionally. He'd call us a disgrace to the male race, "the nouveau man" who's all touchy-feely-over-analyzing. He'd suggest we go back to our menial lives, working at "the machine," putting on our suits, getting on the subway/highway and in the end...shutting the fuck up.

    That's what he'd say.

    He'd also appreciate the anger, though. He'd hit us with his usual quote: "hate...the only thing that lasts."

    And some of us would agree with him.

    By Blogger Bubbles, Ink., at 9:00 AM, January 27, 2005  

  • I think a wise woman said to you "allow yourself to get angry and then write."

    Good job.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:38 AM, January 27, 2005  

  • Wowsers. Another rant ... *yawn* ... wake me when this all blows over...

    By Blogger La Chat Noir, at 4:00 PM, January 27, 2005  

  • Rants are good, Black Cat. Good for the soul.

    By Blogger Bubbles, Ink., at 5:32 PM, January 27, 2005  

  • Hey, thanks for coming out and expressing your candid comments ChapFu. Consider the hatchet buried. PT

    As for you, Miss LCN, wait until you see the next post. Sorry {yawn} I'm boring you.

    By Blogger Plantation, at 8:05 PM, January 27, 2005  

  • it is natural to get affected by sharp criticism. i get affected even when it is on the face, on my Haloscan. so that's why i removed the comments section!

    By Blogger BridalBeer, at 10:38 PM, January 27, 2005  

  • BB, sharp criticism doesn't bother me when I know about it. It's when I find out second-hand that irks me.

    Take care over in India, ya hear? PT

    By Blogger Plantation, at 10:52 PM, January 27, 2005  

  • thanks.. i think anyone with the comments feature enabled like you do, actively welcomes on-the- face feedback and constructive criticism.
    i hadnt read the post you mentioned. i just did i dont know what to say except that the blogosphere is small and what goes around comes around. i'm glad it got sorted out!

    By Blogger BridalBeer, at 12:14 AM, January 28, 2005  

  • I know PT's rant here is different--he's angry about NOT knowing; but I am so fucking sick of people bee-atching about criticism. You don't have the thick-skin to write or be an artist? Get out of the game. And...it's sad to say that I've noticed it's mostly women hemm-ing and haw-ing. People...don't you get it? You put your shite out there, you're going to be criticised, even loathed. It's all right.

    Think of the Jazz musician who goes out and improvises every night on the stage at the risk of blowing a flat note or playing out "of the mode" for a fraction of a second (yes, I'm referring to that lost art of modal jazz which Bird and Dizzy and Coltrane and Miles, perfected so well). Balls, people...BALLS!!

    If you're an artist, and you want your art out there--get ready to get blasted and wanked left and right. If not...keep your shit to yourself, under your bed, or in a folder.

    By Blogger Bubbles, Ink., at 5:25 PM, January 28, 2005  

  • Note to Robotnik: AMEN, brother.

    I feel like I've been seeing a lot of this recently (in the last 6 months especially) and I wonder if it's a greater proliferation of blogs causing people to question more ("oh great, another 'Sex And The City' style blog"), or if there are wayyyy more people reading and/or commenting?

    Nevertheless, the whole phenomenon is fascinating to me.
    1. Post deeply personal statements in a "diary-style" format
    2. Encourage people to come read via blogrolls/commenting elsewhere with links/writing articles in major newspapers or magazines (with reference to the url)
    3. Generate a larger audience...
    4. ...in which some people inevitably question/critique/scoff/disagree with regards to the deeply personal statements and let it be known within the comments section (which lends itself so easily to pseudo-anonymous discussion threads)
    5. Write a post clarifying that your detractors have misunderstood the point of your writing a weblog, that you're really "doing it for yourself", that it's "meant for you", that they should just go elsewhere.

    Besides Todd's post here, there have been some major sites posting on this recently. I'm not taking sides in this at all, but the whole private/public aspect is intriguing to me.

    If I were to open a weblog that was "for myself", either I would close the comments, or I would recognize that in publishing my thoughts, there are 6 billion people in the world who could now access these. Is every single person going to wildly applaud and tell me how amazing I am? Of course not. But then, I shouldn't care since I'm writing for myself. Right?

    Todd, Robotnik, thank you for the thought-provoking posts.

    Anonymously (and happily so),
    Jennifer

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:38 AM, January 29, 2005  

  • ...and we do realize that PT's issue is different here. It's just this whole whiny biz about being criticized. Even by Anonymous writers. It's expected. The good point being made above is the disabling of comments.

    By Blogger Bubbles, Ink., at 7:53 AM, January 29, 2005  

  • Jennifer...well-said. Tks for your thought provoking comments...PT

    By Blogger Plantation, at 10:45 AM, January 29, 2005  

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