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Chasing The American Dream

September 03, 2007


I’ve played the part of the fool on several occasions. It’s another one of these troubling patterns that seem to follow me around. Who’s to blame? Well, I definitely blame myself for getting into these certain situations in the first place. But, as they say, it takes two to tango. And for some reason, the women I have come into contact with exhibit behaviors and actions that one would think could only happen in Hollywood. You’ve read about some of them. And believe me, there are others I’ve yet to write about. Now I’m not a religious person as you all know, but I do think there is some sort of divine intervention happening that prevents me from meeting these women. It’s as if the man upstairs, whoever he might be, is telling me, “No, no son, she’s not the right one for you.” Here’s the latest.

“Dallas” and I have had many close calls over the past two years. Meaning, we’ve had opportunities to meet in person yet something or someone has gotten in the way. To put it bluntly, time and again, she has chosen to spend her free time with her family rather than me. Sorta makes it hard to meet, doesn’t it? Each time this happens, it drives me away from her and I lose interest because if I’m truly the man of her dreams, then why wouldn’t you choose, at least once, me over family?

Fast forward the calendar. As luck would have it, I’m in her state traveling on business. She lives about 2 ½ hours away by car. We spoke Monday and finally decided this was gonna be it. We were finally gonna meet. Her first intention was to drive after work on a Tuesday night. She wouldn’t arrive until around 2:30 in the morning but it would give us an extra night together. I was scheduled to go back home on Thursday. I did tell her that she didn’t have to kill herself Tuesday night and that she could leave Wednesday after getting some sleep. We spoke Tuesday night after her work and she was indeed tired. An opportunity missed, but I was totally OK with that and after a heavy phone sex session, we agreed she’d arrive Wednesday just about the time I would get out of work. She told me she took Thursday off, too. I decided to move my departure back one day so at least we could spend a little more time together. It was a sure thing.

But as we’ve come to know, there is no sure thing with me. Wednesday, I was excited and thought about our meeting all day. I figured she’d get here around 5 or 6 so I waited for a text letting me know where she was. Around 4, I finally got a text from her. She said she had to drive home because her grandmother (who has cancer) was really sick. Her text said she would be a little late. Now, I previously knew about her grandmother’s condition so this wasn’t a hoax, and yes, I understood. About two hours later, DG sent me another text saying her grandmother wasn’t doing well, but that she was getting ready to leave to see me. I asked when should I expect her and she told me around 9. She called me on her way and she was about half-way there. She stopped to get gas and said she’d call me back.

I didn’t hear from her until 8:45 when I got a text from her. She said she’d been on the phone with her mom and that her grandmother wasn’t doing well. I told her I’d give her lots of hugs when she arrived. She said she was close and judging by the time, I figured another 15 minutes or so. Silence. I sent her a text around 10 asking her how it was going. She replied, “Not good at all.” I didn’t call her for thinking that she was on the phone with her mom. Another 30 minutes went by and I sent her a text asking if she was still coming. When I didn’t hear anything back, I knew the answer. I finally got a text from her at 11:45 saying, “Am at home but am going to sleep for a couple of hours, wake up, and go to you no matter what.”

I don’t know what happened to ‘no matter what,’ but I’d just about given up all hope when she text’d me Thursday afternoon at 3:45. “Hey I know it’s late but will be on my way if you will still have me.” At that point, my enthusiasm was pretty much gone. Yet I told her she could come if she was up to it but she didn’t have to. She was nice enough to tell me she wanted to and felt like shit for not already being there. So I told her to come. It was 4 p.m. Thursday night was a reprise of Wednesday night. I heard nothing. I sent her a text and called her around 8 asking her where she was and if she was coming. At 9, I got a text from her telling me she had been trying to call me. Funny, my phone never rang. Another night of disappointment.

I woke up Friday morning and decided to end whatever it was we’ve been doing on and off for the past two years. I sent her a text telling her how unacceptable her behavior had been and told her not to contact me anymore. She sent an immediate response telling me her phone hadn’t been working, she tried to call, yada yada yada. It was the first time I’d heard from her since that text the previous night. She also claimed her estranged father “almost overdosed on drugs” and that she had to stay and comfort her aunt.

Yeah I know. It all sounds fishy. The grandmother with cancer, the non-working phone, the overdosed father. I know her grandmother is sick. The rest of it, who knows? The bottom line was that she did to me what so many other women had done and she, more than anyone else, should have known better. She threw at me how I hurt her by seeing other women, but I told her I saw those women because she never could find the time to meet me, instead always choosing to spend her free time with her family over me. And here again, she chose her family over me and that was the final straw.

Whether it was her choice or divine intervention that prevented us from meeting, I look at it as meant to be. I look at it as we were just not meant to meet or be together. Like I said, I think someone is telling me, “It’s for your own good.”

Believe me, I’m not getting into this situation again. I’d already told myself that six weeks ago. But I decided to ‘grandfather’ in two people who I’d already been friends with. Neither situation worked out and so I’m officially done with any long distance relationship. In fact, I’m pretty much done period. See my next post.

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  • I'm sorry to hear you were put through this. Her actions were unacceptable behaviour.

    Certainly an ominous ending you've given us on this post.

    Glad you're home safely.

    By Anonymous demure southern gal, at 11:20 PM, September 03, 2007  

  • OH MY GOSH. I am SHOCKED at her behavior!! SHOCKED! Not that it's any wise piece of advice, but you are better off without that mess. Yikes. I'm sorry you're having to go through this :(

    By Blogger girl from florida, at 7:41 AM, September 04, 2007  

  • I have a good plenty of things to say about this character...but I will refrain in the spirit of acting like a lady for once.


    By Blogger A, at 8:55 AM, September 04, 2007  

  • Oy...how do you find these women? Or better yet, how do they always manage to find you? I'm so sorry that you had to go through that - no one deserves that.

    By Blogger orieyenta, at 12:44 PM, September 04, 2007  

  • I do not believe in long distance relationships --- maybe for reasons like this --- too much hassle. With that said, my husband and I were apart for a year while we were engaged (but that's different, right?).

    I'm thinking this woman had issues in her life that she is dealing with --- big issues --- and dating is not her # 1 priority. She needs to deal with her "issues" before even thinking about dating.

    I wish you could find someone out there without so much baggage. Someone normal and nice. Does she exist? For you, I hope so. But then again, don't we all have issues/baggage in our lives?

    Crap. This got long.

    Plant - If anything, experiences like this sure does make for interesting stories :)

    By Blogger catsteevens, at 2:08 PM, September 05, 2007  

  • All my major relationships were LONG DISTANCE, I mean REALLY long distance. Australia was the first one, and my last relationship went from Ireland, to Scotland to Los Angeles. Fortunately I was able to fly to LA and he flew here once a month for a while. I guess for me I feel more safe when it is long distance, that maybe they can't ask too much of me. Right now I am seeing someone 2 hours away and that seems perfect. I have a guy calling me that lives in my town, just too close for me!

    By Blogger Jen, at 6:00 PM, September 07, 2007  

  • Hey its Christa! Sorry to see the same old, same old happening to you. I cant believe how big Andy has gotten!!!! He is gonna be taller than you soon! ;o)

    By Anonymous Christa "Minnie Mouse" lol, at 7:56 PM, September 09, 2007  

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