LOST

Lately, I’ve been waffling back and forth with a couple of questions. Am I going to be OK and comfortable within myself if I spend the rest of my life alone, and what kind of ending will I use to finish my book? I think the two questions are related. I made a decision about the book, ending a long time ago, but I may change my mind. “Why,” you ask?

Well, my inner circle has told me if you want a successful book and movie, no one wants a sad, depressing ending. I thought about that. I thought of people walking out of the theater disappointed with the sad ending. I wanted the book/movie to be real and reflect reality. So I thought of how I could lighten it up a little and still make it real. I figured it out and changed the ending. But now I, as I said, I’m rethinking that decision.

I just saw the movie, Lost In Translation. Like Garden State, it was a “Todd” movie. Bob (Bill Murray) and Charlotte (Scarlett Johansson) are lost with their lives and relationships. They meet by chance in Tokyo. Despite their age difference, there is immediate chemistry. The audience feels the love between them although the characters never talk about it. Their bond grows stronger and you can’t help but root that the two of them will end up with each other. My heart tugged for them. I could have easily been Bill Murray. Sofia Coppola does a great job in keeping us guessing. Will they or won’t they? I’m sure most people have seen this movie by now, but for those who have not, don’t read any further or I’ll spoil the ending for you.

Happiness. Finding “The One.” Bob and Charlotte had it right in front of them; they had a grasp of it, but they couldn’t hang onto it. I’ve been there before. And like the movie ending, I’ve walked away empty-handed. But the ending worked. It ripped my heart out, but it worked. That’s why I’m rethinking the ending. "Lost" was real, it was rough, it was sad, but it worked.

I think I can live my life alone now. I’m comfortable with myself and realize that if I don’t find “her” all will not be lost. But then I see movies like “Lost” and it really makes me question my self-confidence. I guess the thing is, finding “her” and ending the chase would enrich my life tremendously and fulfill me to no end. But if I don’t, I’ll make the best out of my life and be happy with cards dealt to me. I guess Bob was thinking something along those lines, too.