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Chasing The American Dream

April 07, 2005


CBG as in Cherry Blossom Girl.

(Excerpt from the book, Chasing The American Dream)
...I called my older sister to discuss all the problems I was having. She recognized all the symptoms I had. The crying, not sleeping, forgetting things, feeling sad. She knew because she told me she had gone through the same thing. She told me she had been diagnosed with clinical depression. She explained to me that this type of depression was caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain which brought on a lot of these symptoms, and that medication could restore the balance. This was hard for me to accept, but it made sense and I knew something was making me abnormal. She suggested for me to see a doctor, and I reluctantly agreed.

I made a doctor’s appointment for the following week. I just figured that I had tried to deal with everything by myself all this time, and that it had come to a point where I didn’t think I was doing a good job of handling all of it anymore. I felt guilty and somewhat ashamed about the possibility of having depression, but I knew going to get checked out was the right thing to do.

I was a bit nervous and still felt ashamed while waiting anxiously in the little waiting room. You know the room. It’s the little waiting room you wait in after you’ve waited an hour in the big waiting room with all the magazines. Anyway, a young Physician’s Assistant, or PA, as they are known in the profession, came in with a reassuring smile on her face. Her name tag read Alice Goldman.

Alice asked me a million questions relating to my recent behavior as well as probing into my past in terms of how I grew up and was raised. She also gave me a questionnaire to fill out which, I guessed, would give me a score on how depressed I was, if at all. She was very reassuring and emphasized that I shouldn’t feel bad or ashamed for having a sickness no different than any other sickness such as high blood pressure. She said there were lots of medications that could help me return to normalcy and that I would feel much better soon. I thanked her for her kindness and consideration, and she said the doctor would see me soon…


  • Can't wait to read the next installment!

    By Blogger Denise, at 1:51 PM, April 07, 2005  

  • depression is no fun. the only thing i like about it is that when i read in the jaws of the black dogs (personal account of depression by a canadian author whose name i can't remember), i realize that maybe i'm not so bad off.

    good luck.

    By Blogger ropedncr, at 4:34 PM, April 07, 2005  

  • Rope...I read that book. It's by John Bentley Mays.

    Ah feck. PT is right. I am the Ken Jennings of literature.

    By Blogger Bubbles, Ink., at 7:52 PM, April 07, 2005  

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