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Chasing The American Dream

April 23, 2006


I was focused on the parrot show when I felt a tapping on my shoulder. I turned to my right and saw Andy with this sheepish grin. He didn’t say anything, but he kept smiling. “What,” I finally asked him? He still didn’t say anything, but he was pointing down to the woman sitting next to him. I over in that direction and spotted the woman’s discolored toes. All I could utter was a very juvenile, “Ewwwwwwww.” Well that got Andy going. He giggled and laughed for the next 30 minutes. Another Kodak moment.

And that got me thinking. Some people in this world have a fetish for feet. Not me. I hate feet. Feet are a no win situation. It’s hard to make your feet look good. Sandals are man’s worst invention because it gives clueless people a chance to show off their gross toes in public. I’d say my feet are neutral. Egad, I can barely look at the picture. I dunno; not bad, not good. You be the judge.

I’ll wear sandals or flip flops to the beach but rarely elsewhere. A quick trip to the store or to the gas station but that’s about it. Have you ever been in a restaurant and you glance over at the next table and happen to see sandaled feet that shouldn’t be sandaled? Kinda takes your appetite away, doesn’t it? Maybe I’m being too sensitive again.

I’m conscious that there are many people like me who don’t like to look at feet or toes. I wish more people felt that awareness because if they did, they wouldn’t show me their old, crinkly and fungused hammer toes. Yuck. Wives, girlfriends, husbands, and boyfriends, please don’t let your partners out of the house wearing sandals or flip flops. It can be an utter disgrace. And gals, you’ve got an advantage over us guys cuz you can cover up the toes with some pretty nail polish. Please do so particularly if you’re over 50 because those pretty toe days are long gone now.

You know something? There outta be a law. If you’re over 50, or whatever the age is that one’s toes turn into that mangled mess-look, no sandals can be worn. No showing of feet. And for the rest of you out there, please give your fellow mankind a deserved break and use your discretion. There are already enough things in this world to gross us out.


  • Tee hee.

    I'm not a big fan o' the feet, either.

    By Blogger A, at 6:36 PM, April 23, 2006  

  • Uh oh. I hope this is not in any way referring to the pic of my toes, which I recently posted.

    Bad pic of mee toes

    Because, in my defense, I took that picture with a cell phone camera (not the best). And I really do take good care of my feet :)

    I've never understood foot fetishes. Just downright odd.

    By Blogger catsteevens, at 3:01 AM, April 24, 2006  

  • Cat, that's funny. Maybe it was subconscious but it was not intentional. Wow, how eerily similar our pix are.

    By Blogger Plantation, at 3:38 AM, April 24, 2006  

  • I couldn't agree more. I might go barefoot to walk the dog in the summer or some such thing but I NEVER wear sandals. No way. No toes sticking out of my shoes!! And men with sandals is just yucky in my book. I'm trying to come to terms with it since it seems to be all anyone wears anymore, but I'd rather people just kept their feet covered up.

    By Blogger Amy, at 9:29 AM, April 24, 2006  

  • With the exception of babies' piggies, all feet are ugly. It just depends on where on the gross-out scale they fall. Mine are somewhere in the middle (no toe fungus or obvious deformities). In my humble opinion, Plantman, yours are above average. Being as shallow and superficial as I am, a really hidious set of dogs on a guy can be a deal breaker.

    By Blogger Eatapeach, at 10:00 AM, April 24, 2006  

  • I'll be sending you a pic of my toes full of athlete foot....


    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:46 PM, April 24, 2006  

  • The worst is dancer's feet. I love my mother (a part-time ballerina), but dancing on top of wood blocks is hell on the feet.

    And, si, che cazzo is the Italian form of WTF. And so far all of my documents point to 85 as a birth year for me, so as far as I know, I am a prematurely-old 20.

    By Blogger olivia, at 3:34 PM, April 24, 2006  

  • Hmmm I wear my flip flops from the time the snow clears to the time it flies. Soooo like it or not, the toes are out there lol and besides that I have about 12 pairs of them....not that I like toes, but I just deal and nail polish is fun :oP

    By Anonymous Christa, at 4:36 PM, April 24, 2006  

  • I'm told quite frequently that I have pretty feet. I flaunt then whenever I can, since I can't flaunt anything else!

    By Blogger M, at 8:41 PM, April 24, 2006  

  • Plant - Eerie indeed!

    olivia - what you wrote reminded me of a girl I lived with in the dorms. She was a dance major. She would arrive after ballet class and unwrap her feet, which would be completely blood stained. Besides being grossed out, I found it sad that one would go through that and do such things to their feet all in the name of dance.

    By Blogger catsteevens, at 1:15 AM, April 25, 2006  

  • I love shoes, but I'm not a fan of wearing them. I'll go barefoot just about anywhere in my neighborhood. With that being said, I absolutely hate my feet. It takes too much work to make them look semi decent. Guess I'm just a study in contradictions.

    By Blogger Cheetarah1980, at 2:55 PM, April 25, 2006  

  • Am I the only one who likes my own feet?

    By Blogger Elizabeth, at 10:43 PM, April 25, 2006  

  • E, apparently so. Cheetarah, thanks for the visit and the comment.

    By Blogger Plantation, at 5:58 AM, April 26, 2006  

  • I have decent feet. Theya re all one color. I try to keep the nails polished and neat.
    I have seen too many people who expose the unsuspecting public to their gnarly feet.I esp feel bad for pedicurists who have to use that scary metal drill-like filer to work there way through the thickness of some people's toenails (though I give those people credit for trying to make their feet look nicer).
    A manicurist I was speaking to told me a story about when she was in cosmetology school and they had volunteers come in to learn pedicures on. This one woman had GREEN stuff on her feet. The instructor took one look at them and said "sorry. we can't touch those. You'll have to see a podiatrist."

    By Blogger Lyss, at 10:50 AM, April 28, 2006  

  • Hmm! If we prohibited certain people from wearing them, we'd have a huge "Sandal Scandal" to be sure! What if they wore socks with sandals? Guess that's not cool either (although I've done it with Birks and I like that look)!
    I used to stare at my cousin's feet...he had 6 toes on each foot! Guess that'd freak you out...I thought it just made him special.

    By Blogger Mother of Invention, at 12:32 PM, May 02, 2006  

  • Sorry, but I think socks with sandals is silly. I mean why wear sandals if you're going to cover your feet with socks. If you're feet are cold, wear shoes! That's the logical side of me coming out...

    I also hate feet, there is nothing worse than seeing a woman wearing sandals with gnarly, long toenails... and I've seen enough... ewwww! I don't understand exposing one's feet if one can't at least take care of them!

    I wear a size 6 shoe so my feet are small and due to genetics, they're wide with my big toe being longer than the rest. I still like them, especially after a pedicure, they're pretty sexy looking.

    Now D has big feet and long toes, he's also a hairy guy, and so are his toes. I try not to look at them very much. heeee!

    Great topic PT!

    By Blogger Mari, at 12:50 AM, May 06, 2006  

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