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Chasing The American Dream

August 22, 2005


I'm here to refute the statement I keep hearing from people. "You don't get out enough." I started thinking about that. Was it true? Well, I suppose we can always go out more than we actually have, but how much is enough? How many times? How many people do you need to meet before finding the right one? Who knows? It could be a million. Being a numbers guy, I decided I needed some self-statistics. So I did the Accountant thing and I added it all up. I must admit, the results were surprising to me. Note, these stats don't include the hundreds of women who have ignored me on JDate or match.com.

During the past year or so, I've asked 42 women out. Yeesh! Seems like a staggering amount to me. Out of those 42, almost half (20 of 42) actually agreed to go out with me. I thought that 10 out of the 42 (24%) could have been Miss Right. I guess that means that of those 20 women I went out with, I only thought half of them had the potential to be Miss Right. But I went out with all of them because it's not all about Miss Right. It's also about going out to meet people, learn what you like and what you don't like, have some fun, or whatever. Of course, nothing has amounted to any of them or I wouldn't be here whining about it to you on a seemingly daily basis. But as I look back at those 42, I ask myself if I still believe any of them *could* have been Miss Right. The answer? Three. Three out of the 42 or one out of every 14 women I meet, I think could be The One. Two of them I've written plenty about. The other one, I still wonder about. So what do you make of all this fuzzy math? If at first you don't succeed, try try again? I think my will to try try needs a vacation.


  • I love numbers.

    How many were local? How many dates did you go on with these women? How many approached you? How many times did you vary your "type"?

    I mean, if you went out 25 times in 365 days, then I'd be with the others: you need to get out more!

    Here's hoping you find her on a golf course, that she's not your normal type and that she's single. And that neither of you love the other more -- since the quote is that you're going to love her sooooo much!

    By Anonymous ~K, at 7:19 PM, August 22, 2005  

  • hey PT... or Mr Noser as i fondly remember you!
    I am about to start up a blog for a class i am in, it is required that i do this and worth 50% of my grade. Most will be a blog in response to a question he will have asked in class that week... but I just wanted to let you know that I am joining u on blogspot!
    i have to remain anonymous to my class tho... also part of my grade. So i am trying to come up with a name still. Hope u have a good day!
    Miss Ryder

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:36 PM, August 22, 2005  

  • out of the 10 that could have been miss right, how many of them were in relationships with other men? and how many of them thought you could be mr right? geesh, going out with a woman once doesnt mean that youre going to marry them.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:59 PM, August 22, 2005  

  • Mr. Noser
    it's me... :)
    please, if you visit my blog thing ever (which it prob will never be anything much since it is for a class only right now) don't do say anything to give away anything about my gender, name, characteristics, etc...
    because it is important to my grade that i remain anonymous as the class will have to guess who i am at the end of the semester.
    yours truly

    By Blogger only_some_times, at 3:10 AM, August 23, 2005  

  • If you have asked out 42 women and gone out with 20 of them, I'd say you definitely get out enough. Wow, I know I have hermetic tendencies but those numbers are staggering to me. Granted, I'm a serial monogamist, but excluding dates with significant others, I haven't been out on 20 dates in my entire life. And if 3 of them were potential Ms. Rights then I'd say you're doing quite well indeed. Some people go their whole lives without ever meeting someone they think could fit that bill. You've definitely earned a right to a vacation from try trying. And who knows? Maybe the cliche is true- once you stop looking for it it will find you.

    By Blogger Lizzie, at 9:52 AM, August 23, 2005  

  • i remember something told to me about cold calling when i was (briefly) in the life insurance business (yikes! did i really just admit to that?): every no you get just moves you that much closer to a yes. of course they had me calling students at the local university...in december. i made 276 calls before a kid finally agreed to let me come out to make a pitch. but he did buy! so you're doing much, much better than i did. of course on the other hand i proposed to only one woman (after ten dates) and we've been married for 39 years now.

    By Blogger ropedncr, at 10:06 AM, August 23, 2005  

  • AHA!!!! You said you went out with them know that they were not, in fact, Mrs. Right.

    Wait, I need to find my notes from when you insulted me for doing the same.

    Other than that, does it make you feel better to know that some of us come here to escape from our own blurry moments? I did.

    By Blogger Queen Helene, at 3:38 PM, August 23, 2005  

  • oops, I was thinking faster than I was typing.

    That should read "knowing that they were not, in fact..."

    By Blogger Queen Helene, at 3:40 PM, August 23, 2005  

  • K, 28 of 42 were local. Out of the 20 I went out with, only 5 had second dates.
    Miss Ryder, good luck with your project. Hopefully all my great blog writing will rub off on you (haha)
    Lizzie thinks 42 is a lot, K doesn't. Hmm
    RD, 39 years..wow, congrats!
    QH, There's some merit to what you said and I'll just leave it at that.

    By Blogger Plantation, at 10:35 PM, August 23, 2005  

  • You know, I don't know that I believe in the concept of Mr. and Mrs. Right anymore.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:06 PM, August 24, 2005  

  • Emily is so right. There is nothing even close to a Mr./Mrs. Right.

    PLT - I wish I had words of wisdom.....I can't even begin to tell you how many frogs I kissed before I found one I wanted to keep! I got married so much later in life than the "norm" that my family & friends had written me off as a lesbian. And to tell you the truth somedays I kinda wish I was a lesbian :)

    By Blogger catsteevens, at 2:50 PM, August 24, 2005  

  • these are some seriously interesting stats. i would be scared to put something together like that for myself. was it all within a certain timeframe? imagine if you did it for yourself since junior high school or something? scary...scary scary!

    By Blogger Amanda, at 2:23 PM, September 06, 2005  

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