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Chasing The American Dream

July 01, 2005


…my thoughts from 35,000 feet high above Texas somewhere…

I’ve ‘met’ a lot of people as a result of this blog. Some of you out there will never like me or this blog, and that’s OK. But for the overwhelming majority of you, I can’t begin to tell you how wonderful your friendships have become. I’ve gotten to know some of you really well and would deem our relationships as close, lasting friendships.

And over the course of the past eight months, there are a select few of you who have found a place in my heart. I never imagined this could have happened, but it has. A simple blog comment usually starts the wheels in motion. Emails, IMs, phone calls, and the next thing you know, it seems I’m in love. Is it just me or has it happened to any of you? We think we’re in love. But are we really? One of my dear readers (choosing to remain anonymous) explained these online relationships to me. My friend explained to me that despite what I may feel or what the other person may feel, the relationship is merely words. Mere bits and bytes of a keyboard until a person-to-person meeting takes place.

Is she right? Is that all these online, long distance relationships are? I don’t know. Believe it or not, despite the online aspect, I’ve experienced most of the usual physical and mental emotions of a true, normal relationship, if there is such a thing. Even the sex can be amazing. Yeah, you heard me right. My problem, as you’ve read before, is that I tend to rush things. I can be impatient because I really want to validate my/our feelings. Is there really something there or was it there because of the safety of thousands of miles between us?

Unfortunately, I’ve never gotten the chance to meet anyone who I’ve had feelings for. And it hasn’t been my choice, of course. Reality setting in? Cold feet? Other priorities? Who knows? It’s always *something.* I think what turns me off the most, slaps me in the face, and causes me to pull away, is the fact that I’m supposedly “The Guy.” “Mr. Right.” Yet, some reason, any excuse gets in the way and we never meet.

I know this sounds like a broken record so far, but I think my friend may be right after all. Despite all the love, may it *is* just an unfinished script until physicality takes place. I didn’t believe my friend at first, but I’m gravitating toward the bits and bytes theory.

There is so much going on in my head now. What’s the old cliché, “Confusion reigns supreme?” I’m being tugged in many different directions and emotions. My biggest fear is that someone will end up getting hurt. I thought all these bits and bytes were going to be translated to validation and clarity. And we all know there’s only one way for that to happen. But now, I’m not so sure it’s gonna happen. Or maybe it will happen with someone or somewhere when I least expect it? Should be an interesting summer to say the least…


  • aww, you are over Texas! Can you see me looking out my office window waving at you!?! Have a GREAT week and enjoy every minute of it!

    By Blogger Elle, at 4:51 PM, July 01, 2005  

  • Hang in there, baby!

    Don't rush it and it'll happen when the time is right for you.

    Big hugs and give that son of yours all that love you've got to give. Heck, give him a hug for me!

    By Blogger Jewels, at 8:18 AM, July 02, 2005  

  • Avoidance. It's always good.

    By Blogger -J, at 10:28 AM, July 02, 2005  

  • Great post!

    Hope you're having a great time with your boy. Oh, I know you are. ;)

    By Anonymous ESSFingers, at 2:24 PM, July 02, 2005  

  • Enjoy your trip!
    Saw a clip on the AM news today that was in response to all the Tom Cruise comments about medications and depression...the young mom from Salt Lake City was a blogger and the clips were about blogging helping with all the feelings and ultimately being a real great thing for the mom's mental and emotional progress...so keep writing!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:58 PM, July 02, 2005  

  • I definitely agree with your friend. As intimate or liberating as electronic communication can be, it can't replace physical contact.
    On the positive side, it gives you the opportunity to share thoughts with those you might not ordinarily talk to.
    Have a great trip!

    By Blogger Gatsby, at 4:12 PM, July 04, 2005  

  • I know people who have had online relationshops. It started with words on a screen, evolved to a voice and words on a telephone, then an actual meeting where vision, voice and words took place. Words are powerful, and in this medium, the strength of their power has no limits. Words can also be misconstrued and twisted, and what one originally intended is not what the other person read.

    I have a few online friends. Some I've even met. It's awkward at first, but then it becomes comfortable, like you've known each other for decades. There are very few that I could actually consider long term friends.

    Sometimes online friends are mysteries and the mystery ends when you meet them. I can't explain it any other way, but I guess it's like opening a gift. Once it's opened, you know what it is and it's not longer a surprise.

    If you truly click with a person, them perhaps meeting them would be the same, but you'll never know until you do it. Friends and those friends who could turn out to be long term relationships can be met anywhere, like in a cab where I met mine *wink*.


    By Blogger Mari, at 1:56 AM, July 05, 2005  

  • I was reading this blog (www.comeandtakemehome.blogspot.com) where the author of that blog actually met another blogger (www.gotasecond.blogspot.com). It seems they read each others blogs....then emailed, chatted, etc.....and then she moved CLEAR ACROSS THE COUNTRY to be with him. It was amazing to read as it all unfolded in their blogs.

    So, my point? Ya, I think this is more than bits & bytes, but at some point you have to stop typing and get out there.

    By Blogger catsteevens, at 11:52 AM, July 05, 2005  

  • Stephen King and I don't agree with your friend, but you know...

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:58 PM, July 05, 2005  

  • I really liked this one and the part about having a relationship over words.

    By Blogger Sass, at 12:12 PM, July 06, 2005  

  • Well put as usual! I've met online friends in the past and all of the meetings have been wonderful experiences. I've also dated several people that I met online, so I don't see that as a barrier, either. I say go with your heart and hope for the best! :)

    By Blogger Denise, at 11:11 PM, July 08, 2005  

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