BITS & BYTES

…my thoughts from 35,000 feet high above Texas somewhere…

I’ve ‘met’ a lot of people as a result of this blog. Some of you out there will never like me or this blog, and that’s OK. But for the overwhelming majority of you, I can’t begin to tell you how wonderful your friendships have become. I’ve gotten to know some of you really well and would deem our relationships as close, lasting friendships.

And over the course of the past eight months, there are a select few of you who have found a place in my heart. I never imagined this could have happened, but it has. A simple blog comment usually starts the wheels in motion. Emails, IMs, phone calls, and the next thing you know, it seems I’m in love. Is it just me or has it happened to any of you? We think we’re in love. But are we really? One of my dear readers (choosing to remain anonymous) explained these online relationships to me. My friend explained to me that despite what I may feel or what the other person may feel, the relationship is merely words. Mere bits and bytes of a keyboard until a person-to-person meeting takes place.

Is she right? Is that all these online, long distance relationships are? I don’t know. Believe it or not, despite the online aspect, I’ve experienced most of the usual physical and mental emotions of a true, normal relationship, if there is such a thing. Even the sex can be amazing. Yeah, you heard me right. My problem, as you’ve read before, is that I tend to rush things. I can be impatient because I really want to validate my/our feelings. Is there really something there or was it there because of the safety of thousands of miles between us?

Unfortunately, I’ve never gotten the chance to meet anyone who I’ve had feelings for. And it hasn’t been my choice, of course. Reality setting in? Cold feet? Other priorities? Who knows? It’s always *something.* I think what turns me off the most, slaps me in the face, and causes me to pull away, is the fact that I’m supposedly “The Guy.” “Mr. Right.” Yet, some reason, any excuse gets in the way and we never meet.

I know this sounds like a broken record so far, but I think my friend may be right after all. Despite all the love, may it *is* just an unfinished script until physicality takes place. I didn’t believe my friend at first, but I’m gravitating toward the bits and bytes theory.

There is so much going on in my head now. What’s the old cliché, “Confusion reigns supreme?” I’m being tugged in many different directions and emotions. My biggest fear is that someone will end up getting hurt. I thought all these bits and bytes were going to be translated to validation and clarity. And we all know there’s only one way for that to happen. But now, I’m not so sure it’s gonna happen. Or maybe it will happen with someone or somewhere when I least expect it? Should be an interesting summer to say the least…