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Chasing The American Dream

May 17, 2005


Tonight, a reader described her perception of me as, “whiny, clingy, and insecure.” I’m sure everyone reading this post is nodding their head and saying, “oh yeah.” I’m not going to get defensive here, and I’m certainly not going to disagree. If I’m reading this blog day in and day out, there is no doubt I’d walk away with the same impression. But really now, what am I doing here? I’m writing to vent, to complain, to want, to wish, to hope. Sure, I come off as “whiny, clingy, and insecure,” and probably a whole lot of other choice adjectives. And I’m OK with that. But people rarely want to read about how great your life is; instead, I think they’d rather read about your troubles, struggles, and angst. All I can say here is that if you ever *did* get the chance to meet me, and you walked away with these same perceptions, then I guess I really *am* in trouble.

In closing, I’d just like to take a moment and thank you, kind loyal readers, for sharing my life with me and being so supportive and constructive. Shit, there I go whining again...


  • It seems easier to write, as well as to read, troubles, struggles, and angst.

    So maybe we're all in trouble.

    By Blogger A, at 7:13 AM, May 17, 2005  

  • well plantation, what you do have is self awareness, which many people are lacking. so you got that going for you, which is nice.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:37 AM, May 17, 2005  

  • i don't understand. you say whiny, clingy, and insecure as though that's a bad thing. and besides, wasn't that reader whining about how whiny, clingy, and insecure you are?

    By Blogger ropedncr, at 9:40 AM, May 17, 2005  

  • it is true of my preferences. i hate going to sites consisting of play-by-play happy little anecdotes and entries. most of the time they say nothing. but...they are mostly personal, and mostly for friends and family. of course, i don't really understand that either--why don't you just call up those people? why put it on a site?

    on the other hand, I don't dig the other extreme. somewhere in between is where i tend to gravitate. somewhere where people write about issues and how they're attempting to resolve them.

    By Blogger Bubbles, Ink., at 11:45 AM, May 17, 2005  

  • It's one of those questions that we all ask ourselves eventually: how much of our inner life do we want to share with the anonymous hordes of the internet?

    Do we care if our sharing creates an image of ourselves--positive or negative, or just different--that doesn't jive with the way we see ourselves?

    And what's the role of our personal blogs in our dating life? At what stage in a relationship do we introduce the fact that we're putting our intimate writing "out there" for everyone to read? Does it help or hurt nascent relationships? etc...

    As usual, I have lots of questions. The answers are individual. Good luck to us all in answering them for ourselves.

    By Anonymous Esther, at 12:31 PM, May 17, 2005  

  • Perhaps if you reread the whole communication, you would see that comment had NOTHING to do with you.


    You asked a general question. You got a general answer.

    It wasn't about you.

    You clearly need to get more sleep. A better internet connection. And, perhaps, some reading glasses.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:52 PM, May 17, 2005  

  • Jeez Anon. Panties a little too tight? Rude a bit much?

    Take care Plantation.

    By Anonymous ESSFingers, at 1:52 PM, May 17, 2005  

  • You talk about your problems..that's what we all do.
    I don't even get the insecure and clingy impression.
    You seem very secure with your job (as in you know what you're doing) and your son.
    Keep up the writing!

    By Blogger Gatsby, at 10:16 PM, May 17, 2005  

  • Whining (a/k/a bitching, venting) and insecurities are what keep us normal and sane. Congrats to Anon for achieving perfection.

    Clingy? Maybe they've got your blog confused with someone else's.

    By Blogger Jewels, at 5:38 AM, May 18, 2005  

  • Like A said, we like reading the negative. If for some reason, I don't feel like reading something negative, I just won't. And like Robotnik, I don't like certain styles of blogs. So I just don't read them. I don't bitch about it.

    So whatever. I posted once, this is my blog, so I'll write whatever the eff I want to write. You do the same!

    By Blogger girl from florida, at 1:01 PM, May 18, 2005  

  • hi my lovely! been a while since I posted, yet I'm still out here reading even from across the pond.

    Write on my friend!!!! Let's toss writing ideas around again soon.

    By Blogger Amanda, at 1:53 PM, May 18, 2005  

  • P.S. - I may take you up on that 80's CD!!! I would love to have one, especially to listen to in my new car!!!!! ;)

    By Blogger Amanda, at 1:54 PM, May 18, 2005  

  • "Damnant quod non intelligunt"...

    "They condemn what they do not understand"

    It's so much easier for people to criticize others, but not to look within themself and see what things might be going on.

    By Blogger Ash, at 4:21 PM, May 18, 2005  

  • Go to most of our blogs, and we are "whiny, clingy, and insecure."

    Show me someone who isn't!

    By Blogger Fred, at 7:47 PM, May 18, 2005  

  • oh, yeah, man, I so do NOT want to read about people with their stupid happy lives, particularly decades-married people with fantastic, imaginative, toy-enhanced sex lives. which seem to go on and on like porn stories. jeez. who caaes already? besides which, those who have time to write about it are probably lying.
    rock on!

    By Blogger squarepeg, at 3:52 PM, May 19, 2005  

  • I would like to know what people do to find the time to have toy enhanced sex lives? God, I miss those days!!! *LOL*

    I digress.

    Todd, someday when I'm down in your neck o' the woods, I'll bring some really good cheese to have with our whine while discussing our insecurities.


    By Blogger Mari, at 2:00 AM, May 20, 2005  

  • I don't know how I'd characterize you or your site (I try not to do that kind of thing), I just know that I like what I read. :-)

    By Blogger Denise, at 4:48 PM, May 20, 2005  

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