"WOEFULLY INADEQUATE"

One of these days, I’ll find a job I like. That would include a nice location, good job responsibilities, people I enjoy working with, and a cool company with values and culture. This has been part of the chase story. It originally *was* the chase story until these personal issues got in the way. I’m hoping I catch a break in that someone will discover my writing talents, or lack thereof, such that I can drop my current Finance career once and for all. But in the meantime…

So what am I doing now? I’m working as a Financial Consultant for a consulting firm. I started in January. How I got here and why I took this job will all be part of the unraveling. I’d been unemployed for four months, and cash was rapidly flying out the door. Despite red flags I came across during the interview process, I took the job because I was desperate. My first impressions were, 1) the company was cheap, and 2)‘some’ travel would be involved. I had to pay my way down for an interview, *and*, I didn’t even get reimbursed when I got the job. I was quoted 20-25% travel which was doable.

As it turned out, both red flags proved correct. I got very little relocation money, and I’ve been traveling an incredible 90% this year. During my first six weeks on the job, I learned that certain senior management (I’m not dignifying them with capitals, sorry) had huge egos and were extremely arrogant. This is the anti-me so I’m having trouble fitting in.

So two management players from up North came down to ‘visit’ me these past two days. They described it as a Quality Control initiative. They can politically package it however they’d like, but they were here to check up on me and my boss. Now, I’ll admit that this project of mine is about a month behind. It’s behind for many reasons, but the main one is because my client company is very reactive and not proactive. I need to ask them for things 10 times before I get a response let alone a deliverable. We hurry up and wait around here. It has been a very frustrating 10 months, especially when you consider I’m out of town on this engagement.

I feel like there isn’t much more I can do here. I’ve done the best job possible and I can live with that no matter the outcome or no matter what any PA (pompous ass) says about the work. I guess by now you’re zeroing in on the post title. Well, I gave management 17 large binders which basically contained process narratives and test plans to document the company’s internal control structure (boring stuff, I know. S’why I wanna get out). So my management poured through the binders and proceeded to tell me their take on things.

They beat around the bush, said I was doing a good job, yadayadayada BUT, there wasn’t enough meat in the binders. Meat in my business means paper. I hate paper; it just gets in the way and is clutter. Yet, appearance and perception is everything as I was told. And then I was told the classic line, “Don’t get me wrong, this work isn’t woefully inadequate.” I thought to myself, Really? Not woefully inadequate? Oh, I’m so thrilled. I guess it’s simply inadequate is that right?

I think I tuned out the rest of the message because the previous statement read loud and clear. But it didn’t matter to me because these are the kind of condescending guys who snicker and sneer and make snap judgments at people who are ‘below’ them which, in their minds, is practically everyone. I couldn’t live with myself if that was my foundation. To me, that is ugliness below the core. I have no desire to be a part of that political haven, clique, old-boys network, or what-have-you. Often time, if not most times, one needs this arrogance and political brown-nosing to become a bigshot in the corporate world. That’s why I’ll never become more than middle management, and I’m OK with that. I don’t play the game if that’s what it takes. I refuse to play the game. The game sucks enough as it is, and that’s why I want out.

So I’m going to spend next week, stuffing binders and filling them up with all the papers stacked high on my desk. A simple paper transfer which will make each binder a lethal weapon due to its weight. We’ll pretty them up and confuse the client with all the paper. But the external auditors will like it, because they love paper. And I guess that’s what matters most.

Honestly? Was my work woefully inadequate? I don’t think so, but perhaps it depends on your perception. I think one could review our 40-page narratives and test plans and conclude that we know our shite, and we’ve done a fine job condensing the business operations into these neat documents. Will another 50 pages of paper fluff really make a difference? I don’t know. The egos think it *will* make a difference, so I’ll just follow orders and comply. I know one thing’s for sure though. These senior management guys’ attitudes, personalities, and respect for other people? Woefully inadequate.